Only Human
by shannyfish
Summary: The world that Sara Lance lives in has gone to hell. Slade Wilson is gone, but Starling City hasn't improved any. The only reason that Sara Lance manages to keep living is Felicity. Their life isn't so perfect though... Felicity/Sara - SmoakingCanary


"But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human"

~ "Human" by Christina Perri

. . .

It seemed like the world had gone to hell in a hand basket overnight. They'd done the best they could… That's what she kept telling herself. It wasn't supposed to be like this, though! This wasn't supposed to be how the night went on! She'd promised that she'd do everything she could to keep the city in tact while everyone else was away. Roy and Thea were away on their honeymoon and Diggle was along as security, he wasn't thrilled…but it was for Thea more so than Roy. With the last remaining heir of Queen Consolidated in another country, they couldn't be too careful.

The city didn't look the same… It had looked drastically different when she'd first shown back up as the Canary in order to watch over Laurel… So much had changed. Too much. Too many good people had died. Sara honestly didn't know how she still had the will to carry on. She knew that she had to…there were still people who counted on her…who loved her.

There was so much corruption.

So much violence.

So much hate.

So much…death.

Everywhere she looked, there was death…

Well, almost everywhere.

Her whole family was gone: her mother, her father, her sister… All of them. Tommy had died before she'd even returned. And then there was Oliver… She'd thought that she'd died before he did, but that's not how things turned out. He sacrificed himself so that the rest of them could live…and so Slade Wilson would finally be just a bad memory….a nightmare, really. Moira Queen and Walter Steele were amongst the list of the dead…they'd been Slade's first victims.

"You're quiet."

She smiled at the voice in her ear.

The voice that kept her going everyday.

Sara didn't know what she'd have done without that voice.

Normally, they wouldn't chat while she was out in the field. Right now, though, with everyone else away…there really wasn't much that she could do. She also knew that she wasn't the only one that received solace from hearing a voice. "I was thinking…"

"When you're thinking…and you're out…it's usually sad thoughts…"

How right she was.

"Sometimes it can't be helped," she responded evenly but sadly.

"Shall I cheer you up then?" Felicity asked. Her voice was suddenly super cheery and full of sunshine.

Sara could picture her back in the safety of the Foundry at her computer. She was probably spinning in her chair and bored out of her mind. Normally, Thea or someone would be with her. Not right now. Sara also didn't like the idea of her alone, even if they'd reinforced the security systems at the Foundry. No one tended to go near it except them since the fire at Verdant. The club was gone, but the Foundry remained in tact.

"You can try," she told her.

"So…I might have hacked into the little sister's college's system," Felicity told her. She paused for a moment. "And…she's pretty much acing this semester…"

Felicity always called Sin 'the little sister'. Sara didn't know if it was just a reminder that she had family, even if Sin wasn't technically her blood related sister….or if it was just Felicity being adorable. Sara was fairly sure that it could have been both. "That's good to hear…"

"You know, she has spring break coming up—"

"No."

"No?"

Sara could hear the sadness in Felicity's voice and knew that she was probably frowning and upset back at the Foundry, but it really was for the best. It had been hard for her to do what needed to be done, what was best for Sin.

In order to get her out of The Glades, out of Starling City…Sara had gotten the whole team to convince her to give up helping with the vigilante-ing and go to the other side of the country to college. She wanted her to have the life that she never got to have… Sin didn't have to worry about anything; all of her expenses were fully paid for by Queen Consolidated. They'd awarded her a scholarship, that's the only way they could put it in order for Sin to actually accept it.

So now, whenever there was a possibility of Sin coming back to Starling City…Sara would try to convince her not to. It wasn't the same city anymore… It was filled with ghosts and nightmares… Sin needed to live in the world that she was slowly creating. It was a fresh start and Sara didn't want Sin coming back and seeing her and feeling like she needed to come back. That was the last thing that she needed to do.

"She should have a spring break…like the other kids."

"I hope minus showing up on some video where everyone's getting naked and—"

Sara's laugh cut her off. "I think she's okay…but she could still go to some beach…or pick somewhere and go on an adventure."

"At this point, she's going to graduate soon. Eventually she's going to actually want to come back here."

"I can delay it."

"Only for so long."

The silence stretched on for some time and Sara let out a sigh. "I'm going to head back to you," she said. She really didn't like how things had felt since everyone had left… Roy, Thea, and Diggle wouldn't be back for another week and a half. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to keep her sanity for that long. Even though she'd learned how to be on her own so long ago…being apart of something…this family they'd created…it made her long for them to be all together.

"Wait."

Sara had already headed to leave the roof she was on, she paused at the edge. "What is it?"

"A bank robbery—"

"Let the police deal with it tonight," Sara told her. She hated saying that, but she just wanted to go home and make sure that Felicity was okay. She realized that really, she was just as lonely as Felicity had to have been as she patrolled.

So, she stepped off of the edge, jumping towards her target.

"Sara, it's a little more than the police can handle," Felicity said, chirping in her ear. "Remember that robbery ring a few months back? They took down every bank—"

"How can you be sure?"

"They're wearing the same masks," Felicity informed her. "They've already blown their way into Starling National Bank. You're needed there…" There was silence between them; Sara really didn't want to go. "It's on the way," she said and made it sound like a stop at the drug store.

This was what they were supposed to be doing. Fighting crime and taking the city back… Sometimes Sara just wished it wasn't such a full time job. "Okay…" she finally replied with irritation. "But then I'm coming straight home…"

"I'm here if you need me."

. . .

Sara didn't even know at what point it all went sideways.

But it had.

She had no way to contact Felicity, her earpiece had fallen out and it had been stomped on. She'd already taken a bullet to her arm and she really wasn't any happier. The group was called the Clown Killers. It wasn't because they killed clowns, but rather because of the masks they wore and the fact that they weren't shy about killing everyone and anyone who got in their way. They shot guards in the back and they didn't care what time of day…there would be blood. There were six of them and Sara hated to admit it, but there were too many for her to take on her own.

So far, she knew that two guards had been killed and she'd made sure that one had gotten out a door. Things hadn't changed as far as being a vigilante went… The police still didn't like it and they still shot at her, but…she hoped that with the guard out of the building and the alarm obviously tripped that she'd have back-up. No one had shown up yet.

She'd taken down one of the clowns and locked him in the vault, but there were all the others still in the bank and them shooting at her wasn't helping her confidence that she was going to make it out of that bank. Sara just kept waiting for the bullets to run out. Her bo staff was out and ready, but she was hiding back behind where the teller normally stood. The bulletproof glass was already shattered. She sucked in breath and then slowly pushed it out. She got up enough to peek over the counter before ducking back down as a new barrage of bullets flew right above her head.

If one of them moved closer, then she was certain that she could take him out. One less would make a huge difference. Sara crouched there and just tried to keep calm, to think clearly… She was going to get out of there, she knew that…it was just going to require bullets to be dug out of her, some stitches, and she'd have more scars… She could handle all of that.

The sound of an arrow flying through the air caught her attention instantly. It wasn't just one arrow though; one flew over her head and hit the wall behind her. She looked over and immediately noticed the fletching. Oliver's had been green and yellow. This one was pink and green. Sara could still remember Roy teasing Felicity about her aim. He'd brought in Thea's nail polish and had started to paint a red line on the yellow fletchings of his arrows and pink on Felicity's. Eventually, Oliver just ordered them so that his remained the same, Roy's were red and green, and then Felicity's were pink and green.

She wasn't supposed to be there.

Sara was certain that she was there as back up because the police had obviously not responded and then there was the fact that her comms had been smashed. There were still five guys out there with guns and Felicity wasn't trained well enough to take them all down. There was a commotion from the robbers, she could hear them yelling to each other. She readied herself and then moved out of her hiding spot and went after the nearest bad guy.

It was all a blur. A blur of her bo and arrows and gunshots. When the remaining five were all on the ground, she realized that she didn't see Felicity anymore. Sara started to panic. Out of caution, they always kept each other in their line of sight, but she'd been trying to take care of two of them and her back had been turned…

"Felicity…" she whispered as she turned in a full circle. Her eyes finally came upon a green cladded Felicity on the ground. She ran to her side and crouched down. Felicity's face looked so pale inside of the dark of the green hood she had on. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't making a sound. "No…no…no…" she mumbled. She searched Felicity over and found herself counting bullet holes in the leather.

Four.

No.

No. No.

No. No. No.

"Felicity— Sweetheart…open your eyes for me," Sara begged. She put her hands on either side of her face. "Felicity…come on!"

"I'm here…" Felicity mumbled quietly.

Sara didn't even bother gathering up the bow or quiver. She made sure she had Felicity safely in her arms before turning around. The bow stuck out to her and she let out a frustrated sigh. She picked it up after a second thought. The quiver and arrows could stay though, those could be replaced. The bow had been Oliver's…and she knew that Felicity was protective of it. She didn't even let Roy touch it.

"I'm going to get you home, you hang on," Sara told her. "Please tell me you brought your car."

"Out back…"

. . .

She was so cold.

Sara was panicking. She'd thought about taking Felicity to a hospital, but she'd managed to talk herself in and out of it about six times. Getting the bullets out was the easy part; she could do that and sew her up. It was the fact that Felicity had lost blood and she really didn't know how much. She hated being alone at a time like that, but she was glad that Oliver and Diggle had pushed it in that they all needed to be prepared. So, she had two units of Felicity's blood. Sara was sure that that was more than enough…or at least she hoped so.

She sat there, just waiting.

The waiting was the hardest.

Sara bowed her head and tried to banish all the bad memories away. Normally it wasn't Felicity on the table…actually, it had only been one time…the last time that she'd gone out into the field with a bow. It was before Oliver— Sara shook her head to try to banish that memory.

"I'm here, Sweetheart," Sara told her. "I'm here…"

The memories kept hitting her though, no matter how much she pushed them back. They'd all been out. Thea and Sin had been in the Foundry holding down the fort, but Oliver had finally agreed to let her, Roy, Diggle, and Felicity join him. They'd convinced him that they all needed to go out there in order to make sure that Slade went down. They'd been led right into a trap. Slade had brought friends… The only person who hadn't been injured had been Roy and Sara was still fairly sure that that was because he'd healed before he could be checked by Thea. Diggle had a good slice down the length of the outside of one of his arms. That had taken a lot of stitches. She and Oliver had both taken stabs and slices…bruises and broken ribs. But Felicity… She'd been nowhere to be found after the fight was over.

It took them nearly half an hour to find her. She'd been thrown out a window, which they hadn't realized right away because most of the warehouse windows were broken out to begin with. She'd landed in a dumpster for the neighboring warehouse, which was filled with cardboard and had down its best to break her fall. She'd lost a lot of blood, Sara remembered the cardboard being covered with it. Part of the glass had sliced open her one side, but had been stopped by her ribs from penetrating further. Her whole left side had been severely injured. They'd taken her back to the Foundry, but they had ended up having to take her to the hospital with a cover story. For Felicity, the laceration had been nothing compared to the rest of her injuries; she'd had a concussion, broken four ribs on her left side, punctured lung from a broken rib pressing into it, left radius and ulna bones in her arm had been broken, left tibia and fibula bones in her leg had also been broken, but the minor injuries had made it all look so much worse. She had sustained cuts, scraps, bruising, and swelling. It had been enough that if they hadn't taken her to the hospital that she would have died from the blood loss and how low her body temperature had dropped.

Sara found herself unable to sit there and be still. She looked over at the blood and fluids that she had set up, it was going so slow…she knew it had to, but she hated to see her on the metal table like that. Getting up, she looked towards her phone. She knew that she should call Diggle, but she didn't want to worry anyone…not yet. Felicity was strong, even if people underestimated her strength, and she was going to pull through. Sara would rather call when she could put Felicity on the phone because she knew that Thea, Roy, and Diggle would be on the next plane home otherwise. They all deserved time away from Starling City and the Foundry…

"I think this costume is done for," Sara said as she moved towards Felicity. She picked up the discarded green leather jacket and fingered the bullet holes with her fingers. She wanted to move her to their room, to their bed, but knew that it was better to wait. There was a blanket under Felicity and two on top of her, but Sara knew from experience that that didn't make the table any more comfortable. Tears fell from her eyes and hit the leather as she stared down at her fingers that were now covered in blood. It had taken her nearly ten minutes to feel like she'd gotten all of Felicity's blood off of her after patching her up and then wiping up as much of the blood she could.

Staring down at the jacket, Sara knew that she wouldn't want to let it go. Oliver had ordered it more as a joke during that dark time. He'd told her that if she'd been wearing better protection than she'd had on during that fall that she'd probably have been protected more. So, he'd ordered her a green jacket like his. It had arrived after his death. Sara didn't want to see that green anymore though. It seemed to only bring pain and death… There'd been far too much of that…

Holding the jacket to her chest, Sara moved and knelt down to retrieve the pants and then the boots. She found a box to put them in. Moving back over to Felicity, she carefully removed the hood and the mask. She hadn't been so concerned with them before, but now it seemed silly to leave them on her. The hood was the last thing in her hands. The green cloth hood… It had been the same one that Oliver had been wearing on his final day… It wasn't only a reminder of Oliver for Sara, but also of Shado… Too much death. The hood was dropped in the box and she shoved them out of sight.

Sara busied herself, finding little things to do. She cleaned the grease paint away from Felicity's eyes, making sure her face was clean. She stood there for a moment with her hands on either side of Felicity's head and wished for her just to open them. That's all she wanted, to have Felicity's bright blue eyes shining up at her. Felicity didn't open her eyes. "Come on, Sweetheart," Sara pleaded as her voice broke and fresh tears fell. She couldn't lose her. Sara realized that there were so many things that she should have told her… She hadn't meant to have been so short with her when they were talking about Sin…

"Digg—"

She was back at Felicity's side, holding one of Felicity's hands while her other hand smoothed back hair away from her forehead. "Digg's not here, Sweetheart… I'm afraid you're just stuck with me," Sara told her.

A small smile appeared and it was enough to light up Felicity's face.

Sara returned the smile instantly. She lightly squeezed Felicity's hand and waited for her eyes to open. "Open your eyes…"

"I'm okay…it just…us," Felicity managed to get out slowly and slightly mumbled. Some of the words blurred together, but Sara knew what she meant. Felicity's eyes finally opened and she was looking at her. "How…did…we—"

"Shh… Don't worry about anything right now," Sara told her. She didn't want Felicity to push herself, she needed to heal and rest.

"I hate this table," Felicity grumbled and it came out very clear. She was trying to move, likely to get comfortable, but Sara held her still.

"I know, I know," she said with a little bit more of a smile. She knew that this was a good sign, but she'd know better in the morning. Sara leaned down and kissed her forehead. "As soon as your IV is done, then I'll move you," she promised. "But I need you to stay still…"

Felicity let go of her hand and Sara frowned a little as she looked down. Felicity had moved her hand out from under the blankets and was reaching upward.

"Hey, you need to rest," Sara insisted as she reached out to grab Felicity's hand. Felicity didn't let her though and Sara didn't want to fight her, her cold hand was on Sara's cheek and Felicity looked so sad. "Hey…"

"You were crying…"

This was one of those times where she was wishing that her mascara had been waterproof. Sara covered the hand on her cheek with both of her own and tried to warm it. "I thought I'd lost you…" Sara admitted. "I told you to stay put…"

"You…needed…help," Felicity said and Sara could see the confusion in her face. "I shot two…I think…"

Sara nodded. "You took out two…or three… I didn't stop and count before I left."

"Did the police—"

"No one showed up before I left," Sara told her. She could see how upset Felicity was getting. They'd carried on Oliver's 'no kill' rule unless it was a life and death situation. Sara had wanted to kill all six of those robbers when she'd found Felicity lying on the floor, but her priority had been with getting Felicity help. "I couldn't wait…"

"They could've—"

"I don't care if they got away… We'll get them again," she told Felicity with confidence. By 'we' she meant her, Roy, and Diggle. Sara didn't know if she had to go after the Clown Killers again if she'd be able to restrain herself. The image of Felicity in the green hood on the floor looking so pale and so…lifeless…had burned a lasting image in her brain.

"I care," Felicity complained.

Sara sighed. Of course she cared. She could have died if Sara had waited around for the police to show up, but she was more concerned about making sure the bad guys were picked up. Before, this wouldn't have ever been a problem. It would have been a quick call to her dad and he'd show up and take care of things… How she missed those days… It felt like a different lifetime, a different world… Sometimes she was glad that her dad wasn't around to see the one she was living in now.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," Sara told her. She smiled down at her and caressed her cheek with the back of her hand. "Because of you." She stared at her and could tell that Felicity was using a lot of her strength trying to talk. "You need to rest now, Sweetheart."

"Can't sleep on this thing," she mumbled as her head rolled to the side and against Sara's hand.

Sara hadn't wanted to give her anything until the fluids had all gotten into her system, but her pallor was better and she was conscious and lucid. So, she figured that the pain meds would only make her more comfortable, especially when she went to move her. "How about I get you something for the pain? I know where Digg keeps the good stuff…"

"Makes me loopy…"

"You're adorable when you're loopy…"

"I thought I'm always adorable," Felicity countered as her eyes closed.

She was right.

Felicity was always adorable.

Sometimes Sara was fairly sure that other than computers, being adorable was Felicity's other superpower. She could make her smile even on the darkest days…and they'd had a lot of them. Whenever she would feel like she couldn't even get out of bed, Felicity would say something…or just smile…and the day would be worth getting up for.

"Hold on a minute," she told Felicity as she moved to quickly get a bottle of water and a couple of heavy-duty pain pills. She returned a moment later, twisting the cap off of the bottle of water. Sara popped two pills into the same hand and then used her other to maneuver Felicity so that she was sitting up a bit. "Take these…" It took a long moment, but Sara felt much better about the situation as a whole once she knew that Felicity had the pain meds and that they'd be hitting her system. She didn't want her to be in pain and Felicity needed the rest to heal.

"Don't call them…"

"Digg should—"

"No."

"Felicity—"

"Please…"

Sara sighed. "I'm calling him tomorrow."

"Thea and Roy…deserve this…" Felicity pushed out.

"I know," Sara told her and sighed again. "He'll be furious if he comes back and spots that you have four new scars… And he'll notice."

"Four?" Felicity asked, half proud sounding and half confused.

"Four," she confirmed. "You were lucky… Luckier than the last time." Sara knew then that she HAD to call Diggle. They'd all taken turns staying with her in the hospital, but it had been mainly her, Diggle, and Oliver. She and Diggle had spent so much time trying to get her back with physical therapy and working with her in order to get to where she was before. It had taken well over a year. "Really lucky," she whispered as she stared down at Felicity. She seemed so peaceful. It was sometimes such a nice thing to watch.

Sleeping contently and peacefully like that wasn't a common thing. They all had nightmares and Sara didn't think them all (well except Thea and Roy) sleeping in the Foundry was helping any. There were ghosts… Sometimes even she would get up early in the morning and swear that she saw Oliver by the arrows.

Once the IVs were finished, Sara carried Felicity into their bedroom. Once she set her on the bed, she examined what she was still wearing. Felicity was still in a tight fitting black tank top, bra, and panties. She swore that every piece had at least some speck or smear of blood on it. Sara moved to the dresser and went through Felicity's drawers to pull out a clean pair of panties along with a nightshirt that she knew was Felicity's favorite when she wore clothes to bed. At the very least, the clothes would be clean and Felicity would be comfortable.

Sara discarded the other clothes, opting to throw them into the laundry hamper for the time being so as not to get yelled at for throwing something away that Felicity felt like she could salvage later. She pulled up the panties on Felicity and sighed as she took in all the scars. She sat on the edge of the bed and took in all the scars that littered Felicity's body, still not nearly as many as she had…or Digg…but too many for her darling dear Felicity. Along her left side was the most damage. There was a long straight scar along her lower leg from where they had to put in the plates and screws…a similar scar along the same arm where plates and screws had to be put in. Sara could still make out the faint scar on her left side where they had to put a chest tube in. There was of course, Felicity's first scar as part of Team Arrow on her back right shoulder where Felicity had gotten shot in order to save her.

Then there were the new scars…

Sara sighed and fought back the tears. Felicity shouldn't have been there… She picked up the nightshirt and pulled Felicity up against her into a sitting position as she started to pull the shirt on her. Carefully, she kissed where the first bullet had ever hit her. Sara kissed all along the scar on her arm before tucking it through the sleeve of the nightshirt. She kissed around the two fresh wounds that were far too close to Felicity's heart for Sara's liking. She pulled the shirt down and stopped to the right side slightly below belly button level and kissed around the fresh wound. Finally she kissed around the final new wound on the left thigh. At least it hadn't been serious enough to require a hospital and a wild story…and at least Felicity was still alive and with her.

Small miracles.

Moving Felicity into the middle of the bed, Sara tried to arrange pillows so that she wouldn't roll or move much. She covered her up and tried to ensure that she was going to be warm enough. Sara was going to stay there and lay with her, but she had mentally guilted herself into doing one thing first. She looked over at Felicity one more time before heading back out to the main area of the Foundry.

Crossing over to the metal table, she found her cell phone not far from it. She still felt the need to talk to Diggle and she was sort of hoping to get voicemail. Sara figured that if she got voicemail, then maybe he'd take it better…maybe. Not likely, but you never knew…

With the phone up to her ear, she waited as it rang. She looked around and realized that she was also going to have to clean up. She didn't know how she'd fooled herself into thinking that she'd contained most of the blood…it seemed to be smeared everywhere she looked.

"Hello?"

Sara sighed. He sounded tired and she realized it was early morning where he was and she probably woke him up. "Hey…Digg…it's Sara…" she said quietly as she cringed a bit.

"You guys alright?" Diggle asked immediately.

"Yeah, we're okay," Sara said and wondered if he'd question her about that statement in a moment after he found out what her actual reason for calling was. "It's just…I knew you'd want to know…"

"Out with it."

"Felicity came to help me tonight. My comms went out and I was pinned down. She took four bullets, but they've already been pulled out and she's patched up," Sara said quickly. "I just gave her some pain pills, so she's resting right now…"

"I'm going to be on the next flight—"

"Then Thea and Roy will have to come back," Sara told him. "Felicity already said she didn't want that."

"But if—"

"She's fine," Sara told him as she started to pace. Sometimes she wondered if it was possible that Diggle was more protective of Felicity than she was. Of course, Diggle had known her longer than Sara had. "There's nothing you're going to be able to do except make both of us feel bad coming back early."

"How much blood did she lose?"

"I made sure to replace it," Sara told him. The truth was that she really didn't know the answer to that question. "Though, I'm very tempted to hide the bow…"

She could hear Diggle sigh on the other end. "I know she thinks she's ready for the field, but—"

"If you or Roy were there, it wouldn't have been so bad," Sara promised. "But all I could think of was the last time—"

"I know…that's what I've been just thinking," Diggle said.

"Sometimes I wonder if we all have a death wish," Sara commented aloud. It was a horrible thought, but it was true. The world they were living in wasn't the world she had been born into… She'd thought that she'd faced all the trials that she'd need to in life, but that wasn't true… There were always more…

"Yeah, me too…" They were both quiet for a long while before Diggle spoke up again. "Why don't I just come back? They really don't need me here. We both know that Roy can take care of Thea without a problem."

"He's still a little unsteady sometimes," Sara reminded. "She's okay, I promise. I'll have her call and talk to you tomorrow…our tomorrow…and hopefully without waking you up."

"You two can wake me up anytime."

Sara smiled a little. "We miss you guys."

"Oh, I miss you two too…believe me… I've seen enough Thea and Roy kissing to last a lifetime…"

"Talk to you tomorrow then," Sara told him.

"Until then."

She looked down at the phone to make sure that they'd hung up properly. Sara looked around and decided that cleaning up didn't matter right now. It could wait. Everything outside of her bedroom could wait. She didn't care if there was fire and anarchy in the streets… She wasn't going to leave her bed until she absolutely had to.

It took her a few minutes to move a few things, so she wouldn't run into them later and then shut down all the lights. They didn't need them. Not tonight. Sara made her way back to the bedroom and sighed. She was still dressed as the Canary, except the mask. She'd taken off the mask in the car…and she was fairly sure it was on the front passenger side seat. She doubted anyone would have noticed even if Felicity's car wasn't parked in the area they considered their own personal makeshift parking garage.

Sara stripped out of her costume and just left it in a corner of the bedroom before pulling on a shirt and crawling into bed with Felicity. The world just didn't matter tonight. Nothing else did. Her phone was set on the nightstand, the only person who would even call her was Diggle…maybe Sin, but she normally called on Tuesdays. Today wasn't Tuesday. So, she doubted it would go off, but she wanted it to be close by, just in case.

Careful of Felicity, she pulled her darling angel into her arms. She kissed the side of her head and pulled the band from Felicity's brad. Her fingers carefully ran through it in order to loosen and destroy the braid. With Felicity's hair free, Sara settled herself and just stared at Felicity as she slept. This was all she wanted…all she needed…

"I know you hate me telling you this," Sara whispered. "But I feel so much better when you're safe here at the Foundry…" She ran her fingers through Felicity's hair as she watched her. "I'm not being mean… I just…" She stopped and really thought about it for a moment and it almost made her want to cry. "I need—I just—I can't lose you…anyone else," she finally got out. "We've lost too much already… You're really all I have left…"

She knew that that wasn't entirely true. She had the rest of the team…and she had Sin. With each death, Sara was sure that a part of her died too. It wasn't quite the same as when she worked with the League of Assassins and she just felt like her soul was darkening with each kill…this was so different… Sometimes she wondered if she still really had a soul. Out of all of them, though, Sara wasn't sure if she could live if Felicity's wasn't there.

"I need you," she whispered before kissing her goodnight. Sara was close enough and had Felicity so that she wouldn't be able to move much, but at the same time Sara could feel her breathing. It brought her small comfort as she closed her eyes, sure that she wouldn't be able to sleep.

. . .

"Are you sleeping?"

Sara smiled, her eyes still closed. She loved that voice. She especially loved that voice when they'd been through hell the night before. Sara really hadn't slept that much. She kept waking up, paranoid that Felicity really wasn't breathing. There were also the nightmares… She was sure that that was probably the best that Felicity had slept in a long while and it was most likely due to the pain pills. "No," Sara responded and opened her eyes to see Felicity looking back at her.

"I knew it," Felicity responded. She made it sound like she just won a bet, which only made Sara smile brighter in response. Felicity seemed to be trying to cuddle closer and Sara immediately tried to still her. "Sara—"

"Just…wait a second," Sara told her. She got up on her knees and looked at her first. There was sunlight filtering into the room and she could tell immediately that the color had completely returned to Felicity's face. Before checking over the wounds, just to check to see what they looked like, Sara took the opportunity to lean over and kiss Felicity.

The kiss was gentle and soft at first and Felicity returned the kiss. After a breath, it turned into something more…something that told of wanting. The kiss was taking on a life of its own, growing and becoming more passionate. Sara hated to, but she stopped it. She straightened herself a little before dropping one quick kiss on Felicity's lips. "You know it's not because I don't want to," she whispered. "But…you were shot four times last night…"

"I don't remember being shot four times," Felicity said with some confusion.

"How many times do you remember?" Sara teased.

"Twice…I think," Felicity told her seriously.

Sara sighed. "Four," Sara said. "Believe me, I dug them out and sewed you up."

"Thank you for that."

"Thank you for coming to my rescue, even though I'd rather you not have shown up to get shot," Sara told her.

Felicity reached up and ran a hand through Sara's hair as she stared at her. "I wasn't going to lose anyone else…"

"I could have lost you last night."

"But you didn't," Felicity pointed out.

Sara knew that they were going to go back and forth and really…they'd argue and no one would be right. She didn't want to start the day off like that. "I'm going to check the wounds, probably change the gauze, get you pain pills and breakfast, and then I'm putting you on the phone with Diggle."

Felicity groaned in response and closed her eyes. "No… We don't have to tell him… He might not even notice," she complained.

"I already called him," Sara admitted, not really able to look at Felicity when she said it. She knew that Felicity wouldn't want her to, but she had. She had to get it off of her chest and honestly, she felt better that she'd already told him…told someone. "Last night."

"Was there yelling?" she asked as her eyes opened again.

Sara shook her head as she pulled back the neck of the nightshirt in order to check the two that were far too close to Felicity's heart. She frowned at it. It looked good, but she was still going to change the gauze and make sure it was one hundred percent clean in order to ensure it healed right and there was no infection. "That might have been because he was half asleep when I talked to him."

"Maybe he won't remember?"

"We're not that lucky," Sara teased with a smile. Diggle was a good guy and he was just worried about them, especially when he couldn't be right there with them. It was really weird actually, being so far apart. They weren't used to being separated. "He's probably been checking his phone every five minutes since I called."

"It really wasn't THAT bad, was it?" Felicity asked. Sara caught Felicity trying to peer down at the wounds.

"Four bullets. A unit of blood," Sara told her as she moved to pull the hem of the shirt up now to check the one below and to the right of the belly button. "Somehow, I swear…I've smeared blood all over the place…"

"Don't worry, we have those Clorox wipes stocked," Felicity told her. "Super handy for cleaning up and sanitizing."

"Good to know."

"I can help—"

"No!" Sara practically yelled. She looked up and caught Felicity's amused expression. She shook her head and then checked Felicity's thigh. It was all the same, which meant that it was all good. "I will tie you down if I have to."

"Promises, promises…"

Sara couldn't hold in the laugh that bubbled up inside of her. She shook her head again and then moved off of the bed. "You're naughty," Sara said as she looked back over her shoulder. She didn't know why, but she felt the need to put on pants…and then she remembered, there was no food in the Foundry. That meant, pants were really necessary…and a bra...

"I thought you liked when I was naughty," Felicity said from bed, Sara didn't miss that she was moving, but she tried to keep in scolding her. After all, Felicity would be the one getting hit from the pain because of her own movements. She'd figure it out, if all else failed.

"Oh, I do," Sara confirmed as she managed to pull on pants and a bra. She even changed her shirt. She grinned at Felicity as she approached the bed. She leaned in for a quick kiss. "But… I need to run out and get food."

"I miss a kitchen."

"We would never get the chance to use anything more than the microwave…maybe the stove," Sara reminded her. "Digg's probably the best cook… I'm not even sure that Thea or Roy could boil water."

Felicity tilted her head back and forth; obviously she was weighing what she'd said. "I can sortive cook…"

"Let's face it, the kitchen is a nice thought…but that's about it," Sara told her. "So, what do you want?"

"Food."

Sara sighed. "Please…be a little more helpful than that." She leaned in to steal another kiss.

"Pancakes…"

"Pancakes it is," Sara told her.

. . .

"Alright," Felicity said while on the phone. "Uh huh… Yep… Can do. Right." There was a pause. "I am listening…"

Sara just beamed at that. She knew that Diggle must be lecturing Felicity. It was better that the bigger lecture came from Diggle anyways. Plus, it probably made him feel better since he wasn't there with them. She'd even sent him pictures of the individual wounds, so he knew that it was all taken care of…along with a picture of a rather cheery though make-up less face of Felicity as proof that she actually was okay.

"No, I know. I remember. Yes. Yes. She's right here. Yes, you can talk to her."

Felicity just held out the phone to her and then was soon covering her face with a pillow. Sara just grinned and took it from her before putting it up to her ear. "Yeah."

"Is she really okay?" Diggle asked.

"She's okay for someone who got shot four times and only remembers being shot twice." Felicity lifted the pillow from her face just long enough to glare at Sara. She didn't miss it. She just shook her head a little in response, but the smile was firmly on her face. "I promise. Just…take care of Thea and Roy…and yourself."

"Call me tomorrow, just to check in."

"Okay," Sara said. She was wondering if he was starting to feel odd being so far apart. Normally they were no more than a phone call and at the most a thirty-minute drive apart. Being in different countries was definitely not something they were used to. "We'll talk to you tomorrow."

"He's going to be grey by the time he gets back," Felicity complained.

"I'm not the one who pulled on the hood and took the bow out," Sara told her. She was lying beside her, propped up on her side. She had decided that they were going to try to spend as much time in bed together as possible. Sara just kept reminding herself how close it had been and how lucky she was to have Felicity.

"I'm not the one whose comms were broken and was pinned down in a bank," Felicity countered.

"Fair enough."

"You know…I bet kisses would help the healing process along," Felicity told her.

Sara noticed the look from Felicity and sighed. "I'm not sure I can risk it."

"What?"

"I can't have you pulling a stitch," Sara told her.

Felicity pouted.

Sara couldn't resist Felicity when she pouted, well…really, she could never resist Felicity. "You're not allowed to move," Sara instructed as she moved the pillow between them and scooted closer. Her arm fell around Felicity's waist while the other curled underneath Felicity's head. She pulled her in for a kiss and held it.

Felicity was sucking in air like she couldn't breathe when they finally separated and Sara looked at her with concern. "I'm fine…" She smiled brightly. "You just took my breath away…literally…"

The back of her hand stroked her cheek as she stared at her for a long moment. How did she get so lucky? How had she found this angel amongst all of the hell? As she stared at Felicity she always thought that Felicity was too good for her…too good a person and too good an innocent soul.

"You look like you're going to a sad place," Felicity said slowly and quietly.

Her bright blue eyes were studying her and Sara bowed her head. Sometimes she swore that Felicity could see right through her and read her like a book. "It's hard to keep from going there sometimes," she admitted. How did you not dwell on everything they had lost? On what she'd just nearly lost?

Felicity's hands were on either side of her face and she lifted her face. Sara stared into her blue eyes. "Stay with me," she whispered sweetly. A soft, sweet smile appeared and she leaned in…Sara thought for another kiss, but Felicity held her face firmly in place. She kissed Sara's forehead and then Felicity rested her forehead against Sara's for a moment before finally letting their lips meet.

Felicity was so sweet.

She didn't deserve her, she thought again. She couldn't help, but think it. If she could, she would have found Felicity some life to lead far away from Starling City…some happy life… That hadn't been possible, not even before they'd started their relationship. They were all a family, a close family, and none of them would easily give that up.

"I'm here," Felicity whispered against her lips. "I'm here… Hold me," she said as one of her hands moved along Sara's arm before squeezing her upper arm. "Kiss me… Love me…"

Tears fell down Sara's face and she just stared at her for a long moment before she finally obeyed. She wrapped her arms around Felicity and pulled her close, trying to remember where fresh bullet wounds were. Sara held her and kissed her lips before moving to her neck. Felicity let out a sigh and she found herself able to live in that moment. That was the problem with demons and ghosts and nightmares, they pulled you away from the beauty and love and everything bright in the right now.

Suddenly, it was just them like it was supposed to be…like Sara wished the world was. Nothing mattered beyond the bed. There was no world beyond them. Sara's lips moved along the curve of Felicity's neck to her shoulder as her hands moved the fabric of her nightshirt to the side. The shirt was now hanging off of one of Felicity's shoulders and Sara found that she could kiss the skin Felicity's chin and where her bra line would fall. So, she took her time, cherishing each kissable inch of skin. Sara's hands moving down to find the hem of the nightshirt before roaming up Felicity's sides.

Felicity's bare skin against the palm of her hands was warm and soft. She knew that Felicity was strong, but she always thought of her as delicate. She was delicate in her own way, Sara didn't quite know how to describe it. Sara loved the sighs and beautiful sounds that Felicity made as she kissed her and her hands explored the parts that she knew so well….Sara knew exactly where each scar was.

This wasn't the future that either of them had envisioned, but right now…when it was just the two of them…it was beautiful. In these moments, it reminded Sara that both of them were only human. They were vulnerable, fragile, and delicate. They both needed the same things…that included love. Sara intended to take the next week and a half to stay in the Foundry and most of all in that bed to ensure that she remembered those facts…and to cherish the person she lived for.

. . .

The End.


End file.
